Taking Care of Yourself This Winter - Embracing the Power of No
I wanted to write a bit about taking care of yourself this winter. While I absolutely love posting about food, home decor and kids projects, part of why I started this blog was to have a space to talk about wellness. As I’ve posted before, three years ago I began a long, arduous journey of illness and healing. From that I’ve learned a couple of things and have been humbled many times over, but one of the most important takeaways has been - taking care of yourself is crucially important. As a mother and a wife and person with goals of endless productivity, this has been the most difficult thing for me to process and also implement into my daily life.
Until recently, I would find myself running around all day without stopping to take a rest, without stopping to eat sometimes, and certainly without stopping to take time for myself (who has “me time” when they have a small toddler running around and a to do list the size of a mountain??). Of course, the outcome was the same each and every time. I would run run run for a week or maybe two (three if I was very lucky), then my body would come to a complete and utter halt. I would have a flare up and be bedridden (or couch ridden) for a week, slowly and often painfully recovering. The frustration I had during these flares was palpable. And what would I do? I would turn my frustration inwards and say to myself “why is my body so incapable of functioning normally!” or “why can’t I just be like everyone else!”. Then I would feel ok after recovering for a while and I would be back at it, forcing my body to function at a level it clearly was not happy with.
So, at some point it dawned on me - give yourself some grace, give your body what it is asking for, stop forcing yourself to be or do things that are harming you just for the sake of doing things. Whether you are a mom, or working full time, or going to school full time, have a chronic illness or not, whatever your situation is, taking care of your wellbeing is the most important thing. We forget sometimes what taking care of ourselves looks like, I know I certainly have and sometimes still do.
The next couple months, with two major holidays approaching, can be stressful to say the least. Even though I adore Thanksgiving and Christmas, the days leading up to the events and even sometimes the day itself can be ridden with stress, endless to do lists, and activity. As a mother (and lets be real - a perfectionist), I have difficulty putting aside that nagging feeling of wanting everything to be just right and wanting to fill our calendar with endless fun and activity. I do this out of love for my son and the desire to fill his childhood with magical memories of Santa and sparkling trees, and I do it for myself, because I love the decorations and merriment. However, my body doesn’t really comply with this idea and often times I find myself miserable and sick because I’ve over booked.
One of the most important things that I have learned over the last couple years (and still have to remind myself of on a weekly basis) is that it is OK to say no. I want to say yes to everything, but the reality is I just can’t. Sometimes you need to say no to that party, or no to that play date, or even no to yourself when you come up with a grand idea that seems great at the time but if you take a step back will probably end up causing you a lot of hassle and stress. Sometimes I even end up having to say no after I’ve said yes, which can be uncomfortable, but if your body is telling you it needs to rest, that is what you should be doing. The holidays especially, can be difficult to navigate when trying to put this idea into practice, but during those times it is more crucial than ever. The people in your life will understand and will be glad you are healthy above all else.
@thishealingmama